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  • Transitional Stickiness & The Avoidance of Discomfort

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    Emerging Adulthood is known as the period of time (ages 18-25) between adolescence and younger adulthood.  This period is thus in between the reliance on parents or caregivers and an adult’s reliance on themselves.

    I myself do not use the term ‘Failure-to-Launch Syndrome’ for two reasons. For one, it is not a clinically-recognized disorder or syndrome. More importantly, the word ‘Failure’ has very unfair and inaccurate implications. I prefer to use the word ‘Stuck’ since this is often how these emerging adults may feel in one form or another.

    It is not uncommon in emerging adulthood to experience ‘Stuckness’ and is often characterized by a lack of motivation or direction, a tendency to avoid taking on the challenges of independence and the responsibilities that are required.

    As with any form of growth, these responsibilities often require facing difficult challenges and dealing with discomfort. such as the discomfort of finding a job, the discomfort of living on one’s own, or the discomfort of making complex life decisions. Some people struggling with Stuckness may avoid these uncomfortable experiences by staying in familiar and comfortable situations, such as living with their parents or staying in a familiar job or relationship.

    Do you have an adult child still living at home, long after you expected them to move out?

    Are you having trouble getting your adult child to maintain employment or help out around the house?

    Does your adult child spend a lot of time playing video games, is up at all hours or struggles with basic self-care (e.g. hygiene, tidiness, exercise)? 

    Does your adult child lack confidence and follow-through?

    Other examples can include:

    • Your adult child fails to maintain employment or stay in school
    • Your adult child is anxious, depressed, or lacks motivation
    • You have arguments with your spouse or minor children because your adult child is still living at home
    • Your adult child acts hostile, entitled, and/or refuses to help out with basic chores
    • You want to help motivate your emerging adult to finish school or improve their grades
    • You need help enforcing sustainable, effective structure and boundaries at home
    • You’d like your adult child to contribute with rent and chores while going to school or work

    If any of the above resonates with you, please contact me.